Monday, October 1, 2007

It's All About Me!


It's my day and it will soon be my year. Today marks 1 year, 1 month and seven days until my wedding. But that doesn't mean I have to wait a whole year and then some to make it all about me. After all, if this blog wasn't about me, then who would it be about?

What's in a name? Ok, I'm not looking to use the cliche or even ponder a pun, but I thought it would be funny to tell my bridal blunders through the voice of a Fat bride-- no, I'm not referring to my weight-- a fat bride is one that is fabulous and trying (F.A.T.). Oh yeah, and of course, I am part of that percentage of brides that can't take advantage of a sample sale, that would look like a braciole in a corset without a panel, and of course, would look more like Ursula than Ariel in a mermaid gown. But does it stop me? Not for a minute.

To be honest, I thought being fat and a future bride would really suck. I dreaded the day I'd go dress shopping only to have everyone staring at my ass because the back didn't close or have a fitter look at me and say, 'sorry, we don't sell to your kind here' because after all, being fat is like being an outcast in the world of beautiful brides. But actually, it wasn't so bad. As a matter of fact, when I finally had enough co-jones to go dress shopping, I picked a place that I had heard had samples in all sizes. In fact, there were about ten dresses that I could have tried on (even though I stuck to only six; the other four were absolutely hideous and just screamed 'tent-sized bride')and it was a good feeling when a couple of them were too big and had to be pulled tighter. Also, I realized that bridal gowns are great! They hide all my bad parts and accent my good assets. Jeez, I wish I could be a bride everyday.

And my struggling weight all these years was worth it to hear the lady who was helping me try on dresses say, "There's no reason for you girls to starvate yourself to look good on your wedding day." I love when people make up their own versions of a word!

Although I haven't found 'the one' yet, I know I will and I know that it won't have to be special made or ordered in husky size (yes, my elementary school actually had husky size jumpers for the chubbies). No, instead, my dress will be made for me, by the dress company, in my size and without any kind of strange or scary labelling. In that one day I learned that a fat bride can be an absolutely hot bride.

If you look around, you'll see that there are a lot of fat married people. Sure, many of them probably gained weight post-nuptuals but I'm sure there were some chubby chasers who took the next step as well as fatty couples who didn't forbid fried foods during the engagement. I'm sure there are guys who got down on one knee and couldn't get back up. For some men, it's easier to tie the knot than it is to tie their shoes-- and if that is the case, then why can't fat girls be fat brides?

Throughout the next year, I vow to provide other Fabulous and Trying brides with tips and advice as well as laughs and smirks through my embarrassing moments as well as my personal triumphs. Nothing will remain a secret nor will anything be too telling to reveal. So my girls, and guys, if you choose, stay posted because you are guaranteed to enjoy this.

1 comment:

Blind, Irish Pirate said...

Thank you thank you thank you for providing a light hearted side to this whole wedding whoo-hah -- I was becoming increasingly bitter as the week post-dress shopping wore on, and I swear... your humor and class is MUCH appreciated!